God Speaks to Palin (Without Notes on Hand)

March 8, 2010

Palin: “Regarding the notes on my hand, and whether or not it revealed my true level of, uh, what’s that word (?) . . . intellect (!), at first, ‘I didn’t really have a good answer, as so often – is me’ (ya know, muttonhead, etc.).”  “But then somebody sent me the other day, Isaiah 49:16. . . .”  “Eureka!  Obviously, God had to write on His hands, as well!  ‘I’m like’ yoo-hoo and ya betcha, what darn tootin ‘good company!'”  God (attempting to speak to her, for the first time): “Sarah, can you hear me?  Sarah?  Geez, not much going on in here.  Oh well, I’ll just speak louder and louder.  Sarah, the Bible is full of metaphorical and allegorical language.  If I said I would write your name, as well as all the names of those who actually follow me, on my forehead – do you think it would be meant literally?” Palin: “I think God just spoke to me!”  Friend: “What did He say?”  Palin: “The Bible is literal, throughout.  And, unlike 99% of others, I actually follow Him!  He even uses Post-it notes!”  God: “Note to self: Don’t get angry; think of it as trying to teach a moose.  Sarah, you missed, and twisted, the entire message.”  Palin: “He just spoke to me again!”  Friend: “Really?”  Palin: “Something like the Beatitudes were twisted as progressive messages – that we missed Jesus’ neoconservative intent.  We should look to Glenn Beck for an update!”  God: “I don’t think I could get through to this one with a follow the bouncing ball teleprompter.”

Palin's Crib Notes on Hand

God Does It!

[Update: God: “The next time I send you back there, maybe you’ll get a life (with a clue).”
Sarah Palin: “Don’t Retreat, InsteadRELOAD!
God: “Alright – to be more clear: I was trying to Give You a Clue.”
Sarah Palin: “Ya betcha (wink)!”
God: If this one becomes president, I may initiate the Second Coming.”]


U.S. Media: Palinesqued Into A Current Affair

November 23, 2009

Frank Rich reflects on a bandwagon: “Palin is far and away the most important brand in American politics after Barack Obama, and attention must be paid.  Those who wishfully think her 15 minutes are up are deluding themselves.”  She may be a “brand,” but the issue is a relating nationwide scam – crammed down our throats and forced into our eyes at every turn.  How could those “15 minutes” ever end when the dominant media serves to propagate this joke upon us as if they have no journalistic responsibility regarding the credibility of a subject being reported on?  According to Bob Cesca, it’s a (hidden) reality show.  Media Matters for America’s Jamison Foser tagged it as an infomercial (without notice).  Yet, our Secretary of State bowed down to what is actually a puppeted clown by stating that she is open to having coffee with her.  In doing so, legitimacy was bestowed – needlessly and shamefully.  Palin is not an elected official.  She is a propped-up, talking points, mouthpiece-for-conservative-propaganda Celebrity.  Stages given to her for voicing opinions on foreign policy, or any substantive issue, are ultimately insulting to all who are trapped within range of the following “news” cycle.  How could this be?  And, how could this charade continue growing?  The answer is that our prevailing media organizations, while sharing culpability with governmental desires, have sold us out – and into a land of “A Current Affair.”

Update: In public: No criticism of Limbaugh’s or Beck’s “retarded” references; absolute (staged) outrage at any Democrats who might have ignorantly used the reference.  In private: “Can we keep this soon-to-arrive baby hidden for a while?  You know, it’s just politics.  Maybe I can secretly adopt before anyone finds out?”  After birth: This is my “retarded baby.”  What does this represent?  A celebrity figure in narcissistic overdrive with political aspirations who is fully willing to use a disabled baby – as a Prop – over and over and over.  It is Greg Stillson’s character from the Dead Zone, with the story slightly altered.  In this one, Sarah Stillson makes the cover of Time, over and over and over, but, she does not end up in a lonely motel room.  She ends up, as planned,  becoming a multimillionaire through speaking engagements, which she cannot get through without crib notes on her hands (Teleprompters are off-limits because they still require focused, in-the-moment, thought – and minuscule translation/coordination).  Further, through all the covers and cover stories, she is never called out by the major media for her utterly contemptible transgressions, low-level acting abilities, or total failure in even being able to defend the very basic of scripted talking points.  Then, finally, based on the latter “objectivity,” she is able to run for the highest office on a platform to “Lift American Spirits” – fulfilling the greatest Mockumentary our country has ever been subject to.

Palin's Crib Notes on Hand

AP Photo/Ed Reinke

Satire: Sarah Palin is a F**ing . . .


McCain/Palin: Cold, Political Calculations & Winning Combinations

October 11, 2009

McCain/Palin: Cold, Political Calculations and Winning Combinations

McCain (October of 2008):
“As a cold, political calculation, I could not be more pleased.”